Civility ‘By George’: Washington’s Timeless Guide for Modern Leadership & Defense Ethics

By Bill Doughty, Defense Journalist

In a world teetering on the brink, the contrast in leadership rhetoric couldn’t be starker. Pope Leo XIV, in his recent Easter address, implored, “Let those who have weapons lay them down! Let those who have the power to unleash wars choose peace! Not a peace imposed by force, but through dialogue! Not with the desire to dominate others, but to encounter them!” This call for measured diplomacy and ethical engagement stands in sharp relief against the kind of bellicose declarations exemplified by a former President’s hypothetical threat to bomb Iran “back to the Stone Age,” alongside crude, incendiary language.

Such volatile pronouncements, particularly from the Commander-in-Chief, underscore a concerning decline in the **civility and strategic communication** expected of a global leader. It’s a stark departure from the foundational principles laid down by America’s first Commander-in-Chief, George Washington, whose life was governed by a strict code of manners, habits, and values. While some of his 110 rules, adapted from a French Jesuit etiquette book, might seem quaint today, their core wisdom resonates powerfully in an era of escalating global tensions and domestic discord.

Washington’s Timeless Code for Modern Leadership

Steven Michael Selzer’s “By George!: Mr. Washington’s Guide to Civility Today” (Andrews McMeer Publishing, 2000) provides critical context. Selzer observed a creeping incivility at the turn of the millennium, marked by “rudeness, crudeness, thoughtlessness.” His observations feel even more prescient now, as **presidential conduct** and public discourse often veer into personal attacks and inflammatory rhetoric. Selzer argued that Americans needed a model of civility, one that offered insight into behaving honorably and ethically across all aspects of life, a model precisely what Washington provided.

Washington’s handwritten rules, meticulously copied at age fourteen, served as his blueprint for honorable behavior. While some rules address 18th-century social niceties (e.g., “Kill no vermin… in the sight of others”), many offer profound guidance for **ethical leadership** and **military professionalism** that remain evergreen. Selzer’s work helps us translate these insights for the 21st century.

Respect, Restraint, and Strategic Discourse

• Rule 1: “Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present.” This fundamental principle of respect extends to international diplomacy, inter-branch relations within government, and interaction with the press—essential for maintaining national and global credibility.
• Rule 6: “Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace.” A direct lesson in attentive listening and strategic silence, crucial for informed decision-making in national security contexts.
• Rule 49: “Use no reproachful language against anyone, neither curse nor revile.” Selzer wisely notes, “Profanity demeans us, not those against whom we use it. And it usually backfires.” This is especially true for leaders whose words carry immense weight, impacting alliances and national morale.
• Rule 50: “Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any.” In an age of misinformation and conspiracy theories, this rule is a bulwark against eroding public trust and undermining intelligence assessments—a vital component of **defense leadership**.

Integrity, Accountability, and Conscience

• Rule 82: “Undertake not what you cannot perform but be careful to keep your promise.” From global agreements to domestic policy, keeping promises builds trust. Selzer emphasizes that Washington himself exemplified this, enduring significant personal sacrifice during the Revolutionary War to fulfill his commitment. **Accountable leadership** is paramount for defense readiness and troop morale.
• Rule 89: “Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust.” Fairness and integrity, even when adversaries are not present, are critical to upholding the moral high ground in international relations and public service.
• Rule 110: “Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.” This final rule distills Washington’s philosophy: conscience as the ultimate guide against hubris and dishonesty, fostering humility, kindness, and empathy—qualities vital for effective and humane **military leadership**.

George Washington’s core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment are not relics of the past. They are the bedrock of principled leadership, especially pertinent for those entrusted with national defense. His namesake, the USS George Washington (CVN 73), forward-deployed in Yokosuka, Japan, stands as a testament to these enduring ideals, projecting not just naval power, but also the aspiration for principled American conduct on the global stage.